down down down

1,2,3

one by one, you go down

i'm counting down.

i haven't been a student material for all my life.

healing takes time.

transiting is forever

are people by the name of edward

eccentric and emo by default

edward scissorhands

edward cullen

me?

correlation definitely > than 1

TWO TO ZERO.

in the solitude of life,

you begin to search.

for what you're not sure.

it seems you know the end,

but the preceding chapters are sealed.

you struggle to gain access,

sadly to no avail.

everything isn't within grasp,

even the safest net you have fallen through.

what's left of life to experience?

you choose

i remember someone once said,

"your mood and attitude should be independent of others."

i think it's very true,

especially so when it hits me hard now.

i'm trying to get back up, i'm not sure what happened.

it's the greatest consolation to know God is always there,

even when you're in the darkest pit.

i just need assurance from You, and You only.

let the weak say i'm strong,

and so here i'm.

turning 22

is not a good feeling.

esp when you're in prep for exams

in retrospect,

time-wasting and procrastinating

are really things you won't wanna do

oh well, time to grow up

spiritually and mentally that's

(:

it took me more than 2 weeks
before the idea of the arrival of the new year
sank into my head.

08 was quite terrible for both me and the world alike.
the camp madness and the financial tsunami
and this and that.


i only have an objective this year.
and that is to get things right with God, period.
everything else will naturally fall into place.




reviewing the camp experience,
i shall plot out a yes and no checklist.



1.picked up the habit of exercising regularly
very unfortunately, no

2.still dislike cookhouse food
most definitely, sorry mr keng

3.used to sleeping with many dudes in one pig sty
nope, especially when ppl snore
and you've to drown the pollution with ear-plug......

4.starting to understand how SAF works
i tried, i really did

5.made many close friends
oh yea man!

6.caught red-handed doing illegal stuff in camp
have never really done anything illegal, so no

7.totally used to staying in over the weekends for duty
trust me, if you do that every once in two/three wks
for many months, chances are you'll

8.shoot in range like a pro
unfortunately, i'm still bobo

9.respect superiors because they deserve it
depends on who we're talking about here

10.getting all engrossed watching "little nyonya" in camp
i refuse to comment on this lol

11.picked up smoking, clubbing, drinking and vulgarity
NOOoooo i din (:

12.got into deeeep trouble without getting punishment
at least i din get any "extra", lol

13.unknowingly got into the "political world of drama"
how did it even happen, sigh


goodbye yesterday@0011
190109

whoever created the clip below must have been
extremely bored, graphical and determined.




check yes juliet
enjoy (:


goodbye yesterday@160109
0209

officially,
i'm left with seven working days in camp.

suddenly, i feel a sense of disorientation.
for all this while. i've been wanting to ord,
but now that it's nearing, i'm lost.

i dunno what to do when i wake up in the morning.
i wait to execute orders.
i've to go for lunch at 1130 sharp.
i've to lay on my bed by 2230, waiting for my brain to shut down every night.
beyond this routine, i lost the ability to plan for my day.

it's time for some CCC (civilian conversion course)


things have been changing drastically in camp,
the rules and regimentation, the people, the environment.

i may appear coolly unconcerned,
but i've been observing.
and i must say at the humanistic level,
reality is hideous.

to adapt to the upcoming high-key events,
the regimental exercises became disgustingly fake.
it feels as if they're done to appease an angry deity.

and there were lots of dramas showing.
everyone is acting someone they aren't,

and that includes me.
some act to cover their vulnerability.
others act to exhibit their authority.
the rest simply just reveal their true sinful selves,
performing what mankind is best at.

it all narrows down to display
"the fittest survive" at a macro level.
the mind game, the office politics,
the clique versus clique dramas.
all so often and indifferently played out in the most subtle manner.
you actually have to be in the platoon long enough to join in the play.

kay, i'm feeling naggy today
but who cares.
i shall blog about the flip-side of the
ever-so-happening Bravo once i'm in the mood.
ciao peeps.


goodbye yesterday@150109
1130

thanks freds for waiting patiently at bk,
while i was pretty occupied being a patient in NSC.

just not my day.
both my bag and phone decided to die on me.
i've to lug my humongous bag along orchard rd.
it looked almost like a under-sized santa shopping for gifts.

and my phone cursor has to die on ME,
causing loads of problems.

well thanks to freds,
he managed to cheer up my day, somehow,
with his witty and wacky small talks and actions.



later part of the day was a total goner.
i did not act sane, at all.
probably due to long isolation in you-know-where.

we managed to make a pinic
which set place in the dark turned out fine.

we played in the water playground
like we've never done it before,
in realization that the crowd
was at least 1/3 our age.

i'm quite sure the things
we've done could have easily earned us
the infamous title "public nuisance"
everything, anything,
all in the name of edwin's belated birthday celebration.
(anyway maya behaved as though it was her bday. lol)

no photos as of now. i wasnt the cameraman.
i was the model. haha




goodbye yesterday@151208
0002

hey guys!
i'm back to blog after quite a while.


have been pretty occupied for the weekend,
my sister's wedding!
i'm really really happy for her.

all my mixed emotions to this major change in my life,
i shall not elaborate here.


the bottom line is, "i love you jie!"
and i wish you all the best (:


goodbye yesterday@081208
1324